Quick sum up!

Hey guys!!
No long post just a quick check in... Our furniture was delivered today! =)

Michaels sitll feeling crappy but his cough is much better.. No fever for 2 days now!! (woo)
Hes just tired more so than anything, for some reason colistin makes his very sluggish.
He loves loves loves his new nebulizer (he actually looks forward to using it!!) Its the Eflow and it gets the medicine much deeper than the normal. If your a cfer and you dont have 1 you should look in to it.

I of course am getting sick (just the nasty cold that everyone has) so I spend alot of my day de~germing every where!!!

So to sum it up.. My house is a mess.. My Michael P is tired.. and I dont have time to be sick... busy busy move move!!

Longer post later!
xox

Vent Mode!

WARNING!!!
You should read this blog with extream caution!! Be very careful!! Do NOT let the negativeness and nastyness rub off on you!!

This is a vent blog.. Michael is sleeping so Im going to hurry and get all the negative rude nasty unhappiness out so when he wakes up I will be ready to smile and make sure everything is ok.

On most days and most subjects I can and do vent to Michael, but when it comes to his health I keep it to myself. I figure he has enough on his plate without feeling like he needs to "comfort" me. I allowed myself to get upset (due him being sick) in front of him 1 time and to try and make me ok he denied being sick and ended up blowing a hole in his left lobe.. I decided never again would I pull that card.


Normally I am a positive person, normally everday is positive. Today is not...
I am so very frustrated with CF and how insanely selfish it is. Normally when Michael is sick Im ok, I understand and I go with the flow weather it be hospital stays, home iv's or whatever but no not this time. For some reason this time Im angry.. not so much angry that hes sick but I think angry at the time.

Any of you that personally know Michael know that he is not ready to go to the hospital. Hes not ready to go with out his mom, hes not ready to wake up and not need to call and let her know what sindel said, hes not ready for her to not bring him cereal everyday, hes not ready for her to not show up with a pack of razors and insist just because he has a cough dosent mean he gets to not shave, hes not ready for a stay with out all the things she did while he was in.
Hes not ready to let his dad see him sick. He wants to move this weekend. He wants to go back to karate. He wants to sleep at night. and more than anything he wants to feel good. But CF dosent care. It dont care where you are emotionally. It dosent care about what you want or dont want. And yes I know first above anything else Michael must take care of himself, hes knows this also. And thats what will be done.. Keep in mind Im just venting.


Vent session #2
Yesterday when we were at Dr. S there was a lady in his office sitting next to us and M started coughing, well a few mins. later she sat up and she goes "oh Ive been doing that same thing." "Thats why Im here, Im sure I must have some kind of allergy problem." We smiled and nodded. A few mins. passed and he coughed again so again she sat up and said "atleast you are not at the sinus doctor" "I just left there and they are wanting to do some kind of surgery to clean out my sinuses." Now I know that this poor lady did not mean anything by what she said but I got so angry! I just wanted to scream at her! I really just wanted to say "No were not at the sinus doctor. We are not there because we just saw him a month ago! In the hospital.. Right after sinus surgery #10!!"

Ok so now that I have let all that out let me go on to say..
As frustrated as I may get with CF I have to say that it has taught me alot. CF has taught me how to love without limits, to be thankful for EVERY second of time you/I have, along with every breath you/I take, to love and cherish the time you have with the people you love, and it has taught me how uncertian life can be. It has allowed me to meet some wonderful people and go on some memorable trips, and it gives you a bond that most people dont have.
Its a huge part of our life and I wouldnt change our life for ANYTHING.

So even though I had a break in my positiveness I have not, nor will I ever forget all the wonderful, positive, happy and loving things and people Michael and I have in our life.
I really should not even be complaining. When I step back and look at how many great things I have and how much worse things could be it really makes me feel guilty that I even allowed myself to get upset over such trivial things. I guess this blog turned out to be quite theraputic for me! I feel much better and now realize things are not so bad =).

Thanks for reading =)
xox

CF goodness

We are home! No hospital today even though his pft's were down from baseline.
Dr. S ordered some bactrum and colistin to do for the next 2 weeks then we will go back and see what we need to do from there.. Hopefully that will do the trick and we can avoid the hospital for a while.


On to another subject.. Depending on how well Michael is feeling we may start moving Saturday!!

I found a salt air purifier thats suppost to be wonderful for cf patients so I ordered it and had it delivered today, we are going to try it tonight and hopefully it will be all that its suppost to and I can let all you cfers and cf families know where you can get 1. Its suppost to be like a 7% treatment all night (you sleep with it on). So keep your fingers crossed!! The cf foundation is running it through phase 3 of clinical studies so odviously it does something =)

Anyway going to eat foosackleys with my ♥ then coming home to make him do all his treatments.!.

xox

So as today went on the cough only got worse =(
Its not productive and very dry but hes coughing so hard hes blacking out.
We are going to go see Dr. S tomorrow (finally).

Lets all take a min. and welcome Michael back to his life in progress.. the one where you cant make cf wait on you to decide you want to go to the doctor... Welcome back baby!!!

So anyway Im not sure if hes going to put him in or not, Michael says he feels good just got a cruddy cough. I will keep everyone posted and it will be safe to assume if I dont blog tomorrow it will be because we got admitted. Keep the prayers flowing =)

xox

Oh So Sleepy

Yea so lastnight was pretty awful... Poor Michael didnt sleep at all thanks to his nagging cough... maby today I can get him to go to the doctor.. Wish me luck and keep him in your prayers =)

Stubborn Michael =Stressed Kellee

Hey guys..
Hope everyone is doing well!!


Our weekend was insane!! We were NOT prepared for 3 foster girls at 1 time hah it was fun and was nothing bad just crazy lol. It was however fun and the girls were sweet, just a bit more than we could handle.

Michael is sick but being stubborn about going to the doctor =(. Hes got a fever right now ( 102 ) and is coughing constantly. We ordered a Salin Salt Ait Purifier (suppost to be extreamly helpful for cfers) that we will get in the morning. Hes hoping that between that and going back to karate he will get better on his own... doutful... But thats Michael for you.


Anyway we had a great day today we went to the park and fed the ducks!!



It was so fun!! there was this little ugly one that would jump and take the bread from our hand!!


He was so ugly he was cute. Michael played his flute thingy from legend of zelda for them

Afterwards we went and ate at Roadhouse where Michael stuffed himself with 8 rolls, chicken and mashed potatoes!! woo cf!



Now Im going to go and try to convince Michael he should go see Dr. S tomorrow and stop trying to buy time, since the only thing hes doing is getting sicker =(

Night Loves
xox

As Promised

Ok so now that I have 2 seconds to sit and blog I will catch you up on my past few days..
The last few days like I said have been super busy and flew by!!

So over the past few days we have been cleaning house and setting up a second bed for the girls this weekend... Thanks to my dear friend Wes for helping us with that!! Of course in the middle of doing all the laundry and washing the linens for the bed the dryer caught on fire (woo) so that put a damper in things for a day or so.. But when we got it fixed we were full blast to get things done so we would have time to play!!

And play is what we did!!
along with and also Jacob oh yea and of course yours truly =) went to see
My Bloody Valentine 3D
Yea pretty scary stuff actually!!!

We goofed around in wal-mart (they had the prettiest flowers ever)

Took poochie to the vet !!! We finally got the ok to start using regular litter again (woo) so now I can breath without gagging!! Pooch however was not so happy about switching back I feel sure it has something to do with not being able to throw the litter out of the litter box.. The paper litter he had to use after surgery was little pellets and he would just sit stupidly and throw them 1 by 1 on the the floor.. Thank you tidy cats for not allowing that to happen with your awesome crystals!

We spent alot of time with Wes and Callie just hanging out and being silly &&& no dull moments here!! I love having friends as awesome as mine =). We never really do anything but we ALWAYS have fun.. sometimes 2 much

So on the serious side..
We are still just waiting on the house (tick tock) should be coming up very very soon!
Im kinda sad about moving out of my little town =( but only like .09325 % sad.
Michaels ankle has pretty much healed from 3 weeks ago when he fractured it so Im sure he will be going back to karate very soon! Hopefully that will help get him back to good status cf wise, thanks to being a diabetic it took a bit longer for his ankle to heal than we thought.. and no exercise and cf dont go hand in hand.. so he has had an increas in cough and congestion.. But Michael being Michael is sure when he goes back to karate and gets to moving around hes going to get alot more up and feel better.. Time will tell.. I on the other hand would like to play it safe and go ahead and go see Dr. S.. I know Michael well enough to know though when he is getting sick he will go but not a day sooner.. I just worry.. yes even after 6 years I still want to go to the doctor just because he coughs.. laugh it up..
Our cf friend Jonathan had his port removed (eek) so keep him in your thoughts and prayers.. He needs a speedy recovery!!

Anyway lets wrap up the rambling.. We have had a good week and we are looking forward to a wonderful and exciting weekend.. Even though I am very nervous about the girls coming! With it being my first time as a foster parent and it being 3 girls!! Wish me luck with that!!

Im not sure if I will get a chance to blog tomorrow or not, depending on how its all going but... I will be blogging again soon. Im sure this weekend has lots of memories in store. =)

xox

Busy Busy Busy

Hey guys..
Life is extreamly busy right now!! We are getting 3 foster girls tomorrow so I have been cleaning like a maniac! I will be doing a catch up blog sometime tomorrow (with pics ) for that past 2 days..

A quick review.. Michael has done treatments and the vest (shocker) the correct way for the past 3 days and seems to be getting better.
Titus has learned (somewhat) to go out side for potty time and pooch is just well....pooch.

So anyway hang in there and check back tomorrow for a REAL blog lol =)

xox

American idol!

So let me warn you... The blog you are about to read is NOTHING exciting.. I made a promise to someone that I would write about everyday no matter what and thats what Im going to do. If you are here for a good story or giggles this is not the entry. Its simply about our last 2 days nothing more.. If you would like to know about our Monday & Tuesday then by all mean continue reading =)

Ok so the dreaded 19th rolled around again and it was about how you would expect..
I miss her so very much. I devoted the day to Michael..we stayed as busy as possible so thats why I didnt blog sorry.

Oh boy how much I miss you. I never knew how much Id miss you. I want so bad to pull up and see you in your pink robe with pink house shoes a cup of green tea and your book, sitting in your white chair.I want to call you when Im ready to strangle Michael over his health. I want you tell yell at him and make it better, I want to hear you say "Im not going to tell you AGAIN". I want your poppy seed chicken and butter beans. I want to laugh at you doing the "get silly" dance.I want you back to fix the mess thats left.. to put up the huge over decorated christmas tree with the enormous wreaths.. to make cream eat right.. to talk about people with me.. to tell me the rest of Michaels baby stories.. But more than anything I want you back to fix the pain thats left with Creamy, Michael and Brooke. Not to mention the rest of the 700000 people that miss you so dearly. I know if you were here right now you would tell me how selfish this is but its ok Id love to hear it.I ♥ & Miss U Mrs.Anna!!

We started our morning off with aersol puffin' and then we went for a fun ride in the D~LO (delorean)..It was such a pretty clear day (easy breathing for M) ..We just drove around and goofed off the first half of the day !!!
Monday night we went and spent time with my brothers and baby cousins =)
We watched ghost busters and played till the boys were pooped
So all in all it was just a typical day.. except for the fact that it was the 2 month mark for Mrs. Annas death therfore it was a bit sad.

Today however was super exciting!!


American Idol is back on (woo) so tonight we had some friends over to watch and eat pizza . So now we are all stuffed and being lazy!! .

So over all today was a good day.. Michael feels good! Our house is almost ready for us! The people on american idol really sucked and made me laugh! And now repo man is on! Hopefully tomorrow I will have more to tell you about =).

Night! xox

Not Forgotten

Hey guys! I havent forgot about blogging just been busy! I will update tonight tho.. Promise =)

Spoil our pets Sunday!

Today was a lazy Sunday..we went to petsmart and got and some goodies. Pooch has to go to the vet tomorrow and get his stickes out (he was declawed last week) so I had to get on his good side today =).
If you have a cat you really should get some kitty temptations...its crack for cats!!

Michaels temp. was gone today but Im still thinking its getting close to hospital time.. Maby if we had normal weather he could stay well!! Anyway im off to eat dinner with my love. This may be prove to be a bit harder than i was thinking...hes sucked into the xbox world.....xoxoxoxox

Woo for Ashley Furniture!

What a fun day!! We spent a ton of crazy hours looking at furniture today and finally picked some out (see above pic.) we are so excited!
Within a few weeks we will be getting our long awaited foster baby (woo hoo). Who also got a new bed today =).

We had a fantastic dinner and now we are being super lazy and on the fast track to bed..Michaels got a temp. (100.7) so hopefully with some alka seltzer and rest he will be good to go in the am, However I feel sure its nearing a "tune up" time and I am not looking forward to this next stay! I dont think any of us are its going to be so odd with out her =(. Perhaps I should go and make him do his treatment and vest (ha! wish me luck with the vest)..ok so maby his treatment and some hand cpt will be more like it..
Night loves! =)

Catching Up

Im Kellee and Im crazy in love with Michael. On December 1st 2004 Michael and I started our crazy, fun and eventful life with one another. Little did I know...the next 5 years of my life would have the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. Michael has Cystic Fibrosis, CF related diabetes, Rheumatoid arthritis, and Chronic sinusitis. With all that being said Im sure you know alot of our time is spent in the hospital which is where quite a few memories are formed.



Michael is one of the most amazing people in the world, hes happy go lucky and full of inapproiate jokes that always come out at the wrong time!! We started this relationship off as friends and it later went to a whole new level. We now are inseparable, in love and oh so happy!! Although we have had many ups and downs (thats cf for ya!) we wouldnt have it any other way!!

On May 10th 2007 Michael asked me in his Michael way to marry him, Of course with no hesitation I said YES!!! so we quickly began planning a wedding and a house and a new pet and all these exciting things over the next few months.

Up untill 2007 we had only had the typical "tune up" visits, But on October 3rd everything changed...Life, our perspective, our emotions and our feelings for one another.
At 7:30 am Dr. L came strolling in to our room (4309) and let us know Michael would be going down for a bronchostopy a simple 30 min. procedure just to do a quick wash out of the lungs right?!? umm no
I quickly scramble to call Cream and Mrs. Anna and let them know what was going on.. rush and get my shower then head down to surgery (woo!)
At 9:17 I kiss his precious face, tell him I will see him soon, behave and I love you..I knew as I turned away something was just not right..wiped my eyes and told myself to have more faith and quit being such a worry wart. 10 O'clock came 10:30 11:00 over whelming stress and then 11:19 we got called back..The bronc lab doors automatically opened and Dr. L simply says "we lost him" doors closed.. I got hot I got cold I couldnt cry I just stood..The doors opend and he finished his earlier sentence "but we brought him back" wooooo now I breath and cry!! Apparently Michael decided he didnt want to wake up after the procedure so he just decided he would die on me..(Thanks buddy for the heart attack at 20) So a month in ICU a bout of depression and weak lungs later Michael got to come home! Just in time for Halloween (his Fav.)

2008

The year started out in the hospital for "tune up" nothing big. My 21st birthday rolled around!! we went to the park and to dinner =). In March we rented a new house got a kitty (Molly)
and planned our 1st "real" vacation.
It was a suprise for Michaels 24th Birthday!! So on May 8th we left for Universal Studios! Michael, Jason, Jonathan and myself all made the 11 hour trip in 8 hours and had the time of our lives!!

We rode every ride 100's of times met awesome people and spent way to much money!
Sadly the day before our trip ended we got the awful new that Jamie (cf friend) had passed, so we ended a day early and headed home for the wake and funeral =(.

June-November was full of fun, love, laughs and 1 hospital stay (Michael blew a hole in his right lobe coughing to hard)


We got a goofy grey kitty named pooch..a crazy and spastic dog named titus, And completed classes to become foster parents =)


Then November 19th miserably approached..
I was with my bestie Mallory
and we wanted to go to the pet store, we convinced Michael to come with us made a quick look in the store and decided we wanted to go to dinner. Michael called his dad to see if they wanted to go with us. Cream answered the phone in a panic and told Michael we should get to the house asap. So at 90 mph I drove to Michaels parents house only to see the ambulance pulling away..my heart sank...everything after that is a blur but 20 mins later I was standing in a small room in springhills er holding Michael from tearing off the door to get to his mamma.. So quickly with no warning she was gone. At 3:17 he talked to her she was fine..At 3:50 she was dead..I didnt and still dont understand???
I miss her dearly and wish I knew how to "fix" this mess thats been left..


So as you can imagine the last month in a half has been a struggle. Its a struggle to keep him well..a struggle to keep him occupied, to say the right things at the right times, to keep him happy. Its a inner struggle to do everything right, to be "there" enough..but no to much. But like every other day I get up I smile and I try my best.

We do however have exciting news!! Through this awful time we did get our dear friend Wesley back! He happens to be the most incrediable amazing friend ever and I Love him dearly. Not to mention his precious pride and joy Callie..she always brightens the day!! We bought our 1st house!! Its just gonna be Me, Michael P., Javon, Pooch (lazy grey cat) and Titus (spastic puppy). Woo Hoo!

Hopefully things will look up soon..but in the mean time Im going to continue being thankful for the wonderful people and things I have..Loving every min. of this roller coaster ride called LiFe.